Addicted
by ice-witch-666
Summary: Hermione is addicted to Draco. He is all she thinks about, all she lives for. She knows she must escape his control but is she in too deep? Based on the song Addicted by Kelly Clarkson.


**Addicted **

Summary: Hermione is addicted to Draco. He is all she thinks about, all she lives for. She knows she must escape his control but is she in too deep? Based on the song "Addicted" by Kelly Clarkson.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters. Nor do I own the song "Addicted" which was taken from the Kelly Clarkson album "Breakaway".

* * *

I don't know how it happened. I don't know why I let it go on. I don't know why I need you in my life. All I know is that I can't live without you.  
It's like you came into my life and took over my soul. You sometimes act as though you're the devil himself and I can't seem to get enough of you.  
Every time I try to get away, you drag me back down. You have me exactly where you want me and I have no way of escape.  
There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The more I try to give you up, the more I crave your touch. It's like I'm running in circles with no way out.

_It's like you're a drug  
__It's like you're a demon I can't face down  
__It's like I'm stuck  
__It's like I'm running from you all the time_

You always had all the power over me. One look at you and I was hooked. There was just something about the way you made me feel.  
You crushed me deep inside, ruining my relationships with everyone who mattered to me. But I still couldn't get enough of you.

_And I know I let you have all the power  
__It's like the only company I seek is misery all around_

Ever since you came along, my life has become less and less of my own. In your own twisted way, you've latched yourself onto me and won't let go.  
I wouldn't want you to anyway. If you left me today, I'd have nothing. You took away my life, twisting me around and making me into your own.  
I was your plaything. You never cared about me; you were only in it for a bit of fun. But this has gone way past that. I can't breathe without you now.  
I need you here with me. Without you by my side, I am nothing. You have become my everything and without you here, I wouldn't survive.

_It's like you're a leech  
__Sucking the life from me  
__It's like I can't breathe  
__Without you inside of me_

I know this isn't good for me but I can't give you up. How do you eliminate somebody who has total control over your life?  
I know I should have given you up long ago but I can't. I'm not strong enough to stand up to you. Perhaps once I would have been, but not any more.

_And I know I let you have all the power  
__And I realise I'm never gonna quit you over time_

You've taken over my life now. Everything I do revolves around you. It makes me sick to think about it but I need you in order to live.  
Every time I close my eyes, your face is everything I see. Those silver-grey eyes that haunt me in my dreams. That evil little smirk that makes my heart beat faster.  
There is nothing in my life but you any more. You have taken over me completely. Everything I used to have is gone, replaced by the devil himself.  
I'm addicted to you, I can admit that. But I don't know of anything I can do about it. In order to be free again, I'd have to live without you. And I don't think I'd survive.

_It's like I can't breathe  
__It's like I can't see anything  
__Nothing but you  
__I'm addicted to you_

You're all I think about now. All my hopes, dreams and aspirations have gone. Replaced by your face, your touch, your smell.  
Even if I try to think about something else, somehow my mind always wanders back to you. You are everything to me.  
Even the nights give me no rest from this pain. You haunt me in my dreams. I am constantly running but I never get any further away.  
It seems the farther I try to run, the closer you get to me. One day, you're going to overtake me completely. Then I really will have nothing left.

_It's like I can't think  
__Without you interrupting me  
__In my thoughts, in my dreams  
__You've taken over me_

I know this isn't who I really am but I honestly don't know how to go back to who I was before. Before everything; before _you_.  
Sometimes I remember and that's when it hurts the most. I could have been someone incredible. Someone worth something. Instead, I am _this_.

_It's like I'm not me  
__It's like I'm not me_

I lose track of time sometimes. The days all blur into one and I get so confused. Everything is always the same and its just so depressing.  
Sometimes I wonder why I should even bother going on. Maybe it would all be better if I no longer existed. But I'm sure you'd find a way to get me back.  
There's no escape from you. You take over my soul during the day, and through the night, you haunt me in my dreams.  
I just want to be free again. To have my life back and become what I could have been. But to do that I'd have to get rid of you and I don't know how.

_It's like I'm lost  
__It's like I'm giving up slowly  
__It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me  
__Leave me alone_

I hear voices every night. Calling out to me. Telling me to break free, to run away and be rid of you forever. But they're only in my head. I have no one left to ask for help.  
I know I have to give you up. This will never get better if I let it continue on. But still it hurts me to have to let you go.

_And I know these voices in my head are mine alone  
__And I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now_

I can't live without you. I'm sure of it. You have become too much of a part of me that without you here I won't know how to go on.  
I need you all the time and I can't just give you up on the spot. I need to have you one more time before I end this. I can't stand the thought of leaving with no goodbye.  
Just once more and then I swear I'm leaving you. I have to get out of all this but I need you one last time.  
I can handle it, I swear. I'll keep to my word and give you up as long as I can have that one last goodbye. I swear I won't go back to you.

_I'm hooked on you  
__I need a fix, I can't take it  
__Just one more hit  
__I promise, I can deal with it_

I _can_ give you up, you know? I realise that you don't believe me but I _will_ survive without you. I can do it. I can end this and still go on.  
I just need you one more time. That's it, I promise you. After that, I'll be rid of you forever. Never again will I let you take over me.  
Just one last time. That's all I ask. I just need to lose control once more before I get it back. Just one more shot to get me through. Just one...

_I'll handle it, quit it  
__Just one more time, then that's it  
__Just a little bit more to get me through this_


End file.
